Love is a key ingredient of happiness. Having people in your life that care about you provides a deep feeling of security. Being in a relationship in which you and your partner are meeting one another’s needs is tremendously satisfying. However, there are several varieties of love – only one of which makes people happy.
Recently, researchers have provided an understanding of how an unhealthy pattern of parent-child love adversely affects an adult relationship. The attachment between a parent and child has been well researched. But it has only been in the last few years that researchers have found a way to help adults with a history of dysfunctional relationships have a healthy loving connection.
The research has revealed three patterns of parent-child attachment. Children have two basic drives – exploration and safety – that govern their behavior. Kids need to explore and their playful pursuits help them gain the skills they need for mastering their environment. But children also need to stay safe in order to survive.
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I have an idea that might make the world a happier place.
Try to smile at every child, even tiny babies, whenever they make eye contact with you. Maybe that child will grow to feel like the world is a welcoming, optimistic place. Maybe it will help that child grow up to be a happier person than he or she would otherwise.
-MJ
