The belief that children and money will bring people happiness is one of life’s abiding illusions, a Sydney conference attended by 2000 seekers of happiness was told yesterday.

The scientific evidence shows people are very bad at predicting what will make them happy, said Daniel Gilbert, a professor of psychology at Harvard University and the author of the book Stumbling On Happiness. He said people’s happiness goes into steep decline after they have children, and never recovers its old level until the children leave home. As a source of pleasure, playing with one’s offspring rates just above doing housework but below talking with friends, eating, or watching TV, research has shown.

Yet people invest so much time and money in their children, and focus on the fleeting moments of joy they bring, rather than on the long periods of boredom and irritation, that most continue to believe children will bring them happiness, Professor Gilbert said.

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The primary cause of unhappiness in Britain is not lack of material wealth but a loss of faith in God and religion, a group of MPs says today. In a new report on wellbeing, a crossparty group of Christian MPs echoes concerns raised by the Conservative leader, David Cameron, who has emphasised repeatedly the importance of action to improve society’s sense of “wellbeing”. They say that the Christian voice is not being respected properly because it comes across too often as “negative”.

Steve Webb, a Liberal Democrat MP, said: “Over the years, many of us who are MPs rooted in the Christian community have been concerned that our voice in the public square can come across as being too negative.

“We are easily identified by what we are against, but less clear what we are for.” He said that, despite material wealth, society lacked a sense of wellbeing. He argued that this had been caused by the erosion of religious values.

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If you think you can predict what you will like, think again. When people try to estimate how much they will enjoy a future experience, they are dependably wrong, according to research by Harvard psychologists — and the reason is something they call “attentional collapse.” When we imagine future experiences, we tend to compare them with alternative experiences — experiences we’ve had in the past, or other experiences we might have before or after. But the fact is that none of those alternatives come into play once we’re actually in the moment. That’s what Daniel Gilbert, author and Harvard psychology professor, means by “attentional collapse”: it’s the idea that when we are actually having an engaging, encompassing experience, it acts like a black hole of imagination, sucking in all of our attention and making our preconceptions irrelevant.

The thought of a weekend office picnic, for example, sounds tedious compared with a trip to the spa, but fun compared with working overtime on a Sunday. But these comparisons have little bearing on our actual experience of the picnic because once we arrive and start chatting with colleagues or playing softball, the experience draws our attention away from the alternatives. “The kinds of comparisons we’re making when we’re imagining the future aren’t the kinds we make when we get there,” Gilbert says.

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Wealth may be playing less of a role in Americans’ pursuit of happiness, according to results from a Pew Research Center survey.

Thirteen percent of 2,413 respondents in a survey earlier this year said being wealthy was “very important” to them, according to a survey posted Wednesday on the Pew Research Center’s Web site. Other opinion choices were “somewhat important” or “not very important.” It ranked last among seven statements of priority such as living a religious life, doing volunteer work, donating to charity or being married.

Nearly 70% of respondents said “hav[ing] enough free time to do things you want to do” was very important, the Web site said. This received the largest amount of very important votes. Having children and being successful in a career ranked second with 61% of respondents saying these were very important to them.

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Happiness takes on a whole new meaning when it comes to Ottawa psychology researcher John Zelenski.
Zelenski, the head of Carleton University’s “happiness lab,” is just starting to get comfortable with happiness. Not the mental state, but the word itself used to describe his line of scientific inquiry, a field of study that has gathered steam in the past decade.

Recently, that inquiry had led Zelenski to ask how nature makes us happy. And whether the human happiness generated by admiring a sunset or walking through the woods can help save the planet.

“Happiness is not a fish you can catch,” according to Canadian rock band Our Lady Peace.
Scientists beg to differ. Sure, catching the fish of happiness isn’t easy, but what we learn about the human condition of happiness can affect how we choose to chase it.

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What housing would bring real happiness?
In his book, “Stumbling on Happiness,” Daniel Gilbert notes that most people are ineffective at forecasting what would make them happy.
“People know what it feels like to be happy, but they’re very poor at predicting the sources of their satisfaction,” says Gilbert, a Harvard University professor of psychology.
Human beings are especially likely to misjudge the satisfaction they’ll derive from having more money.
“More money makes people happier if they’re living under a bridge and can move up to the middle class. But making a lot more money doesn’t make middle-class people a lot happier,” he says.
By the same token, moving from a modest home to a fancier property won’t necessarily increase your happiness, unless it translates to meaningful improvements in your lifestyle.
A larger home could make you happier if, for instance, it provides more space for your grown children and their families to visit. In this case, the more spacious property would support your deep desire for more family solidarity.

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Nicholas Moore and Ashlee Bingham want to make a positive difference in the world.

They can be seen on Saturdays around Grand Junction holding signs that say, “Think Positive,” “Live,” “Think” and the one Bingham held last Saturday, “How Many of These Have You Passed on Today?” with a hand-drawn picture of a grin.

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The Gallup Organization and Healthways, Inc., released the first data from the country’s largest poll on health and happiness today, showing that almost half of all Americans characterize themselves as “struggling” on those fronts.

The Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index polls 1,000 people a day nationwide, including Spanish speakers, cell phone users and other people normally left out of national opinion surveys. It’s the largest ever survey of its kind, and Gallup has committed to doing it for the next 25 years. It began Jan. 1.

Almost 40% of those polled said they were significantly stressed the day before. Two-thirds said they had at least one of a list of chronic health problems, including high blood pressure or cholesterol. Almost a third, 28%, said they were not well-rested. A third said they worried about money the day before, 30% said they had a lot of worries in general and 23% said they were in physical pain.

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“Happiness gets trashed. It’s considered too pink and fluffy for the workplace,” Alex Linley, founder of the Centre for Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) in Coventry, England, told attendees at the 2008 World Federation of Personnel Management Associations World Congress here April 15. Linley, a psychologist and management consultant, founded the nonprofit CAPP to help companies find the happy, positive sides of employees in order to attract, retain and develop them.

“Neurological research shows that when people are happy, they learn things better, are more receptive to [manager direction] and are more engaged,” Linley said.

A positive, or “strengths-based,” organization seeks to buoy what is right in people rather than correct what is wrong. It’s an ingredient that is missing in the workplace, Linley said, noting that only 17 percent of U.S. workers use their strengths at work, according to Gallup Poll research that was first compiled in Marcus Buckingham’s bestselling book, First, Break All the Rules (Simon & Schuster, 1999.)

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Are you happy with your life? Do you find joy in the things that you do? If not, how would you find joy and happiness? And once you find it, do you think you can keep it and be happy all the time?

An extremely powerful way is to take control of your thoughts; by actively choosing which thoughts to focus on.

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